13 Feb 18: Song of the Day

Song: Doing Me

Artist: Ray Blk

Album (Year): Doing Me - Single (2017)

Notable Lyric: "My appearance doesn't represent my wallet"

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about how much we care about what people think about us. We spoke about an ideal situation where you stop caring too much about how we dress, how our hair looks, how clear our skin is, what phone or car you have. It's really easy to judge someone on how their appearance and make assumptions about things such as how much money they make or even how "cool" they are. That's why I chose the notable lyric which is followed by "This is for the ignorant ones with opinions // keep your two cents inside your wallet"

To introduce a more solid psychological aspect, we spoke about the Spotlight Effect. Simply put, it's the thought that we are being noticed a lot more than we actually are. In the nicest way possible, in that context, no one cares about you as much as you think! Everyone is so concerned about their own looks to focus too much

"I used to care what people think, now I care more" - 3005; Childish Gambino

However we also spoke about the trade-off of not caring. For example in a professional environment, people may not take you as seriously or assign negative connotations with your appearance although it has no correlation to their working performance. In a social environment, people may automatically be less open to speaking or approaching you simply because of how you present yourself. Unfortunately there is this level of conformity that's required in order to "get along & get ahead". It comes down to what is most important to you.

This is also not to say not to take care of your appearance. Some people, myself included, find confidence in thinking that they look good! But what's important is that you think you look good and not to dress for other people's appraisal.

So the reason for sharing this song is to highlight the importance of understanding who you are and not having to conform or change your behaviour in order to accommodate other people's expectations or insecurities.