28 Jan 19: Napkins - Riz La Vie

Song: Napkins

Artists: Riz La Vie

Album (Year): Napkins - Single (2018)

Notable Lyric: You are not entitled to my time or my passion

First post of 2019 - woo! I'm starting off this year with a song that was in my 2018 Spotify Tastebreakers. For those of you who aren't aware, Spotify did this amazing thing where they created two personalised playlists for you at the end of 2018. One included your Top 100 songs of the year and another, Tastebreakers, is 50 songs they recommend to you; a lovely gesture. Instead of going through your social media feed to review your year, go through those songs and the let the emotional connection and memory of the song take you back - it's quite the journey!

So thanks to the Tastebreakers I got the opportunity to discover this song by New York based artist, Riz La Vie. What I love about this song - or at least the way I've interpreted it - is how you can look at it holistically as well as identify individual lines that resonate. Additionally, when I hear Riz La Vie sing I sense that I can feel the emotion of the lyrics come through which makes you truly believe the words of the song. It feels raw and honest - but the kind of honesty that comes from being drunk and/or high, y'know?

Here are a couple of lines that stood out for me.

"Life's good, who's asking?"

Allow me to shamelessly jump on the "New year, new me" bandwagon for a sec because a 2019 mindset of mine is to do things that make me feel good. Not to degrade the intention behind new years resolutions as, similar to only starting work on a half hour, there's something soothing and measurable about making a change at a recognised beginning. However this line jumped out at me because it gave me the impression that this person is so focused on what they're doing and getting on with it that they're not concerned by the distractions going on around them. So life is good but I'm not too busy making the most of it to look up to see who's concerned about what I'm doing.

However after reading a suggested explanation of the chorus on Genius.com, the person suggested that because Riz La Vie has written down his number on so many napkins he has no clue who messaging/calling him. Which, when you look at it that way, it does make sense in the context of the song. Still sticking to my #2019Mood

"Got tired of 'We'll see what happens'"

Ah - the endless internal battle of being comfortable with clarity or dealing with uncertainly. Having the perception of control in your life versus letting go, taking it day-by-day, embracing the unknown and not 'restricting' yourself. For some it works, for others it doesn't. There isn't a right or wrong way to do it, we naturally seek what is comfortable and familiar but there are a group of people who wholeheartedly disagree with that and there's no problem with that.

Essentially, I think, it comes down to what you want or need against what's 'nice-to-have'. If something is nice to have and you won't mind too much if you don't get it then you'll "see what happens". If you want something you're going to put in the effort to get it. You can choose to protect yourself from the potential pain of failure or loss by lowering your expectations so that you're in a better position to deal with whatever happens - but that leads me to the next line.

"I attest that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all; But I loved it all too much and now I gotta fall"

How do you balance caring about something but not letting it get to you if it doesn't work out? You could either act like you don't care about anything and live a life of never being disappointed or aim high but having to deal with the subsequent downfalls. How does one entertain both mindsets?

I subscribe to the idea of persistently going after something you want; if not then I feel you're half-arsing your way through life to arrive safely at death. Yeah, shit happens and sometimes things don't go your way. You get hurt and it takes a while to recover from it but at least you tried. The hope that kept you going and the purpose of working towards something gives me meaning. When it fails - and it will - use the pain to learn something about yourself so that next time you're better prepared.

To be clear, I don't mean making your happiness dependent on whatever you're chasing. Happiness is not a destination that you reach once you get what you've been chasing.

"Discotheque mathematics, gave her my number after dancing"

I just really like this line haha. I can see it being a line creeping into my vocabulary with my friends before a night out. Tonight's mission: discotheque mathematics - dance and get digits. #QuickMaths

"You are not entitled to my time or my passion"

This is a big one for me. Don't spend time with people who aren't championing you or supporting your dreams, passions, and interests. There's no need to try and impress someone who doesn't care.

"Got tired of being nice out of habit"

Sometimes being nice comes at a price. Putting other people first or trying to take care of other people's emotions

I often find it difficult to put myself first. Finding that I put more effort into ensuring the people around me are happy or getting my help even if sometimes it's at my expense. The expense may not be something serious but it accumulates and takes its toll.

However, the "nice people finish last" excuse is one used by people who are nice out of self-interest and not as a value. But that's just my opinion. I'm certainly not saying this from a "holier than thou" point because it was something I had to learn myself.

Riz La Vie

Everyone has their own experiences of songs - which is pretty much the foundation of this website - but I interpreted this one as someone who is just fed up of the stress, upsets and anxiety so they're taking a new approach in life. This decision has come as a result of a long struggle, emotional roller-coasters and countless shed tears. The last few months of my 2018 felt like that which is probably why I formed such a connection towards the song. It's sang in a way that I immediately felt that I understood and related to. Sometimes you have those "Wow - yes." moments when you hear a song - this was one of them.

It's been good, shouldn't complain But even when I win, I'm drained I know I'm only gon' be sad again 'Cause none of this is permanent

The production of the song is something I also really liked! It's not harsh on the ear as it's essentially 5-6 different parts coming in and out at different parts of the song. The bass in the first drop always goes right through me. Then the simple and calming piano melody. The unobtrusive percussion roll just before the chorus is well weighted. I can't quite pick out what the flute-type instrument is at the beginning but I really enjoy how it all comes together in it's individual parts.